What the Heart Desires Read online

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  Copyright Jaime Darelle

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  What the Heart Desires

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  Copyright © 2017 by Jaime Darelle

  All rights reserved. No part of this guide may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

  Published by Adekieu Publishing

  Legal & Disclaimer

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. No animals or human were harmed in anyway while writing this erotica novella. And any sex within this story is consensual..

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  What the Heart Desires

  What the Heart Desires

  From the most heart breaking tragedy,

  the most beautiful blessings can arise.

  It is up to him to find out what the heart desires.

  Jaime Darelle

  Part 1: The Accident

  Jack was pacing the waiting room. Panic racking his body, a cold sweat was beading up on his neck and around his temples. He walked up to the nurses station, just like he did every ten minutes for the last two hours, asking for any updates on Madeline's condition. Still nothing to report.

  As he ran his hands through his tousled black hair, he thought about the first time he had seen Madeline. It was over 8 years ago this month. He fell head over heels in love the moment he saw her getting coffee at a little cafe called Nana's he frequented in Hackney. Madeline was on temporary assignment in London and had only a month left on her work visa.

  Jack went back up to the nurses’ station, politely interrupting the nurse who was speaking to an obviously upset, redheaded woman with a frantic look in her eyes. “Pardon me, ma'am,” he said in his thick British accent, “Have you heard anything about Melanie Trussert? Anything at all about her condition?”

  The nurse, who just came on duty, looked at him with pity in her eyes. She could plainly see the worry and concern on his face, “I promise you, Mr. Russell, as soon as I hear anything, I will come straight to you.” She patted his hand and stepped back over to the redhead. Jack just hung his head and walked back to the waiting area to continue his pacing vigil.

  When he saw Madeline in the cafe, he went right up to her and introduced himself. Surprisingly, she responded with a cheerful smile and offered her hand, looking straight into his eyes. She almost bowled him over, her eyes were such a vibrant green, almost like a cat's eyes. He shook her hand and offered to walk with her. He didn't care where she was going, he just wanted to be close to the light that radiated from Madeline.

  She was stunningly beautiful, with dark hair and those deep green eyes. Her smile lit up a room. Jack was surprised to find out that she had seen him in the cafe a few times before because he thought for sure he would have noticed someone like her within a twenty foot radius. Teasing him, she said he was always buried in his laptop and she thought for sure he must be some sort of cyber spy.

  This made Jack laugh til his sides hurt, being just a copywriter who was currently working for an insurance company. That's when he found out she was a reporter doing an in depth piece for the Wall Street Journal on the upcoming Prime Minister elections. He was smitten.

  Pacing in the waiting room was almost killing him. The antiseptic smell of hospitals always made him feel nauseous, but tonight he barely noticed it. The only thing he knew is that his Madeline was on an operating table and they were trying to save her life. His precious Madeline. Jack was choking back tears when the nurse came up to him and asked him to sit down.

  “No... please. Just let me stand. I need to know, how is she? What happened?” Jack pleaded with the nurse.

  “Mr. Russell, I really think...” the nurse began.

  Jack interrupted her, “Please call me Jack, Nurse..” looking at her name tag, “.. Nurse Catherine.”

  “Okay, Jack it is,” the nurse took his hand, “The doctors did everything they could, but the damage to her brain was too extensive to repair.”

  Jack collapsed into the chair, fear gripping his heart, “Madeline...” he said with deep desperation. It felt like a vice gripped his heart and was slowly squeezing the life out of him.

  The nurse continued, “She was hit so hard by the truck, with injuries to her legs, spine and head, and the doctors were trying to prevent the blood from putting too much pressure on her brain but they just couldn't keep up with the amount of damage.” She gently rubbed his back in comfort, as Jack let loose the tears he had earlier choked back.

  Sobbing, all he could keep repeating was, “Madeline... oh my Madeline...” his hands in fists over his eyes. Nurse Catherine noticed he had dropped something, and she reached down to pick up a small box. Opening it, she saw the most beautiful diamond ring nestled in black velvet.

  Catherine softly gasped and covered her hand over her mouth. “I was planning to propose,” Jack sputtered, “to Madeline tonight. This week was our eight year anniversary...” his voice trailed off, sobbing even harder. All he could think about was how she looked when she left for work that morning, her hand on the doorknob, turning back to blow him a kiss as she walked out the door, never to return.

  In her month left in London, Jack courted her like a true English gentleman. She fell in love just as hard as he did. They spent every spare minute together, knowing time was short. As her departure date neared, Jack felt nervous and a little anxious. He didn't want it to end, and he was pretty sure she felt the same.

  On the morning of her departure, Madeline arose quietly from Jack's bed, tip toeing to the bathroom to get ready for her flight. They had shared an incredible night of passion, and she wanted those memories to be the last one he had for her, not the sobbing mess she would be at the airport, leaving behind everything that reminded her of Jack.

  As she showered in the other room, Jack smiled to himself. He had a big surprise planned for Madeline and he hoped she would be just as thrilled as he was about it. The day before, he finalized all his plans including subletting his flat to a colleague for the next six months. His plane ticket was hidden in the suitcase he packed the day before while Madeline was at work.

  As Jack sobbed in the waiting room of the hospital, his mind raced, thinking of what he could have done to save her. Maybe if he had called her, told her how much he loved her, could it have changed the trajectory of today's events?

  Nurse Catherine tucked the ring into Jack's pocket and patted him on the shoulder. “If you want to come say goodbye to her, see me and I will take you to her,” she said before leaving him to grieve in peace.

  Jack had never been this heartbroken in his entire life. He sat there in the waiting room with tears silently falling
from his face, unable to bring himself to go see his Madeline. He didn't want to say goodbye to the woman with whom he had planned to spend the rest of his life. She was his reason for living.

  When Madeline was ready for the airport, she quietly had a cup of coffee before heading out. She was writing a note to Jack, telling him how much he meant to her and hoped they had a future somehow, someway when he popped out of the bedroom, dressed and ready to go.

  “What are you doing?” Madeline said smiling, thrilled he was awake to see her off. “Did you want to come watch me sob my eyes out at the airport?” standing up, she went over to him and slid her arm around his waist and resting her head on his shoulder. She loved the lingering smell of his cologne mixed with his spicy scent.

  “Actually, I am taking a trip!” he exclaimed, kissing her on the top of the head and giving her a squeeze before grabbing a cup of coffee.

  “Oh?” Madeline looked nonplussed, watching him pouring his coffee.

  “Yes, and I hope you won't too mad,” he said, turning to face her with a twinkle in his eye.

  “How could I ever be mad at you, my love?” she said as she cocked her head, feeling a rush of hope and love for this man she met merely four weeks ago. She continued, “Please do tell me about your trip.”

  “Well, I am glad you asked. It is going to be an extended one, so I subletted my apartment, and made sure everything is paid up for the next 6 months,” he explained.

  “Six months?” Madeline looked surprised.

  “Yes, you see...” Jack sat down at the table, pulling Madeline into his lap, “There is this woman who has stolen my heart, and she plans to go halfway across the world with it. A man can't live too long without a heart, so I am following her in hopes she will allow me to stay with her, and my heart.” He chanced a look up into her green eyes. He was rewarded with love shining back from them.

  “Really?? You really did all this without my knowing?” Madeline through her arms around him, laughing. “Oh honey, you are just full of surprises!!!”

  “I figure if you get sick of me in six months, I can always come back to my flat here. If not, then I will finalize the details of permanently moving to New York with you,” he said, smiling at her reaction.

  “Well I highly doubt I will get sick of you in six months... that will probably take more like six decades, or six lifetimes, even,” she said, pressing her lips softly to his in a sweet, tender kiss.

  Her lips, so soft and tender, he would never feel them again. Dragging himself up and over to the nurse's station, he found Nurse Catherine and asked her to take him to Madeline. When he saw her bruised face, he felt like he had been punched in the gut. “Was it a drunk driver, do you know?” he asked Catherine.

  “No, it was...” she paused, unsure what she should tell him considering his shock and distress levels being off the charts, “it was just an accident, Mr. Russell. The police are handling the investigation and I am sure they will be in touch.”

  He nodded morosely, picking up Madeline's hand and pressing it to his lips. Catherine stepped back to let him have a moment to say goodbye. Jack kissed Madeline's hand again, whispering, “Goodbye, my love.”

  Part 2: Going Home

  Nurse Catherine had called a taxi to take Jack home, giving him the number of a grief counselor before he left hoping he would call sooner than later. He watched the city lights flick past as the taxi took him home... Home? This city felt foreign to him now.

  With Madeline gone, the New York lights seemed garish, the streets dirty, and the people seemed brash and abrasive. Because her light no longer shone on him or this world, everything seemed to take on a darker for harsh hue. The taxi dropped him off, and slowly walked up the front steps to their building. He stood there for a moment, breathing in the smog of the city.

  He felt like the entire world was crumbling around him, the reality of losing Madeline was setting in. Jack felt as though nothing mattered anymore, not this stinking city, where he lived, what he did. He wished he could somehow release the painful hollow feeling in his chest.

  Jack went up to their apartment, climbing the stairs slowly, deep in thought. He was so wrapped up in his mind, just going on autopilot to the door of the home he shared with Madeline. Used to share. God, what was he going to do? There was nothing for him here in New York. He failed to notice the woman standing in the shadows watching him enter the apartment.

  He dropped the keys on the table and sank into the couch. He could still smell her perfume, the one he bought her last Christmas. It made his heart swell with loving memories.

  Their first Christmas in New York, Madeline took him to Rockefeller center for the tree lighting. Jack had lived in the city or close to it his whole life, but New York was different than London. The hustle and bustle was more prominent, and with Madeline it felt electrified.

  The energy she carried with her seemed to permeate everything around her and Jack just followed, basking in it. They held hands while waiting for the tree to light, Madeline turned to him and whispered, “If I hadn't told you lately, I am so happy you came to New York, my love. You make me happier than I have ever been in my entire life.”

  Jack looked into her eyes and with his free hand, he cupped her face, “Madeline, you are my light and my love. How could I not follow you wherever you go. I love you,” and he softly brushed her lips with his, just as the tree lit up, shining its brilliant light over them. It was as if they were the only two people in the crowd, so wrapped up in each other’s' love.

  The sun peeked over the horizon and Jack still sat on the couch, turning every memory he had of Madeline in his mind. He knew what he had to do, if he was going to ever get over this devastating loss. He had to go back home to England. There was no other way, everything here reminded him of her. Every smell, sight and touch in their apartment brought fresh pangs of heartache. He would never hold Madeline in his arms again.

  Over the next few weeks, Jack made all the arrangements for his return to England. Like a zombie, he planned out Madeline's wake and funeral. Telling her parents had been the hardest thing he ever did, next to saying goodbye to Madeline. She was their only child, and the apple of her father's eye. When he called them, her father couldn't even speak and handed the phone to his wife, Madeline's mother. They were so much alike, with the same inner light that shone on everyone around them.

  When they arrived for the wake, he hugged Jane and went to shake David's hand. Her father pulled Jack in for a hug that only two men who deeply loved the same woman could share. The pain was visible on both their faces, bringing Jane to tears.

  “She loved you so much, Jack,” David said, with his voice shaking as they separated, “She never loved any man as much as she loved you. Not even me.”

  This nearly killed Jack, the pain searing across his heart, knowing her love was as deep as his. “I planned to ask her to marry me, David. I wanted to make her as happy as she made me.”

  “You succeeded in that, Jack,” said Jane, “I can promise you that. She was the happiest woman, being with you. We were so thrilled she had found her true love. I am just sorry you didn't have a lifetime to share, but hang on to the good memories. She wouldn't want you to dwell on her death, you know that.”

  “I know. She was so full of life, and I hope to honor her by living mine. But to do that, I have to leave New York. Everything here reminds me of her, it hurts too much,” Jack said as he put his arm around Jane. He was trying to hide his lack of will to do anything from her parents. He didn't want them worrying.

  “Will we ever see you again, Jack?” asked David. He had always wanted a son, and Jack was the closest thing he had to one.

  “Of course. Maybe you can come visit me in England? I will work on arranging a trip in a few months once I get settled,” said Jack. He knew he wouldn't ever be coming back to America if he could help it. He didn't want to do anything, anymore.

  “I'd like that, sweetheart,” said Jane, looking at him with Madeline's same green eyes,
making Jack almost lose it again. Those eyes would haunt him forever.

  Jack had found a flat in his old neighborhood in Hackney, near his favorite cafe, where he had met Madeline. Hopefully, the memory of her there would be a happier one, since Nana's had been a favorite of his for many years before he met Madeline.

  His boss, Mark, had given him as much time as he needed. With over ten years at the company, Jack had built a strong, highly respected reputation. He had zero desire to do any writing, technical or otherwise. They were thrilled he was moving back to England, though he had been very successful working remotely from New York. He hoped this would be the last flight he ever took across the pond to home.

  In his grief, he didn't want to do anything, anymore. It took every ounce of will to put one foot in front of the other these days. Some people would call this depression, but Jack was convinced it was just part of the grieving process.

  His bags were packed, his boarding pass printed, and he was getting ready to turn the keys into the superintendent. With his hand on the door knob, he turned to look around the flat once more. He had donated all of Madeline's belongings to a local charity that helped victims of fires. She would have wanted to help people in need, as she was always on some crusade.

  He recalled the time she brought home an injured pigeon. Jack felt these things were the scourge of the city, the filthy creatures. But Madeline couldn't let the pigeon die without trying to help it.

  “Honey, look at her wing! And her foot! It looks like something attacked her,” Madeline pointed out the injuries to Jack, who was looking at the thing with disgust.

  “Madeline, it's a pigeon. This city has millions of them!” he exclaimed.

  “I don't care. I will help this one anyway I can. It crossed my path, and everything happens for a reason, so I will be her nurse,” she declared and dared Jack to challenge her, with those sharp green eyes.